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All In The Cards

OPHIRA EISENBERG, HOST:

We've got our next two contestants - Melissa Kawlanaski and Lisa Richter.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Melissa, what is your card game of choice?

MELISSA KALWANASKI: Poker, I guess.

EISENBERG: Poker is a good one. Yeah, I like that. You play a little poker?

KALWANASKI: I won a small tournament once.

EISENBERG: Really? How small?

KALWANASKI: Like 20 people.

EISENBERG: What did you win?

KALWANASKI: Two hundred dollars.

EISENBERG: That's real money.

KALWANASKI: Yeah.

EISENBERG: That is real money, Melissa. Well done.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: I like how you downplay it. I don't know, poker. Yeah, I won against 20 people, $200. Nothing. Nothing. Lisa, do you play cards?

LISA RICHTER: The only card game that I really play would be an Italian card game that my family taught me. It's called Scopadil or Scopa.

EISENBERG: Mm-hmm.

RICHTER: And we play that when my family visits.

EISENBERG: Is that because your family is in the mafia? Some sort of thing like that?

RICHTER: Yes, actually.

(LAUGHTER)

RICHTER: No, don't say that. Don't air that.

EISENBERG: Don't air that. Yes. Don't worry. It will all be cut. You're not even part of the show anymore. Don't worry about it. No. Our next game is titled All in the Cards. Jonathan, what is this game about?

JONATHAN COULTON: Cards.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Good.

COULTON: The premise here is quite simple. In this round each answer will be the name of a card game. For example, if I were to ask for the metal stick you might use to tend to a fireplace you would answer poker. And you might throw in a story about how you'd won a tournament.

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: The winner will move on to our Ask Me One More final round at the end of the show. Here we go. In dentistry, it's used to connect an artificial tooth to real teeth.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Melissa.

KALWANASKI: Bridge.

COULTON: That's right.

(APPLAUSE)

COULTON: What is the title of Adele's second studio album which won her seven Grammys?

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Melissa.

KALWANASKI: "21."

COULTON: You got it.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: I think that's one of your favorites. You got very excited about buzzing in for that one.

KALWANASKI: I'd just figured out how it went with the card game.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Oh, I like that. Right. It's the moment of when you realize, oh, my goodness. I'm on a puzzle show and I've just figured out the game. And you get very excited.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: I know. And you have a buzzer and you're — yeah. Good.

COULTON: You were faking it very well, I have to say.

EISENBERG: Yeah, it was both good. Very good.

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: It's a popular version of solitaire or a vanilla ice cream bar covered in chocolate.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Melissa.

KALWANASKI: Klondike?

COULTON: That's right.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: It's kind of funny the phrase popular version of solitaire.

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: Oh, people love it. People love it.

EISENBERG: Yeah, exactly.

COULTON: What are you playing, Klondike?

EISENBERG: What's your favorite version of lonely?

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: It's the nickname shared by the University of New Orleans and the University of Nebraska, Omaha. The University of New Orleans and the...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Melissa.

KALWANASKI: Uno.

COULTON: Yeah.

(APPLAUSE)

COULTON: Edwin Starr asked what is it good for - absolutely nothing in what 1970 number one hit song?

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Lisa.

RICHTER: War.

COULTON: That's right.

(APPLAUSE)

COULTON: What is the common name for an unpopped kernel of popcorn at the bottom of the bag? It's almost as common as that kind of solitaire everyone likes to play. That's not a hint. That's just a bad joke.

(LAUGHTER)

ART CHUNG: In the United Kingdom a version of this card game is known as Scabby Queen.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Melissa.

KALWANASKI: Old Maid?

COULTON: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

COULTON: We don't know a lot about the internal anatomy of Dr. Who, but we do know that, unlike humans, he has two of what vital organ?

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Melissa.

KALWANASKI: Hearts.

COULTON: Yes!

(APPLAUSE)

COULTON: She could barely contain herself. What fine French crystal manufacturer founded in the 1700s is famous for its chandeliers and perfume bottles?

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Melissa?

KALWANASKI: Baccarat?

COULTON: Yeah, that's right.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: This is your last clue. It was President George W. Bush's nickname for his first secretary of defense who also served as secretary of defense for Gerald Ford.

They're both looking like come on. Seriously?

COULTON: No, nothing?

CHUNG: You might yell his name out at the end of the game?

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Lisa.

RICHTER: Yahtzee?

(LAUGHTER)

RICHTER: I mean that's dice but you'd yell it, right?

EISENBERG: Secretary of defense. I'm just imagining what that name would be. It's awesome.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Melissa.

KALWANASKI: Rummy.

COULTON: Rummy is right. That's right.

(APPLAUSE)

COULTON: OK, Art. How'd we do in that game?

CHUNG: Oh, in this game Melissa held all the cards.

(SOUNDBITE OF GROANS)

EISENBERG: Thank you so much, Lisa. A huge round of applause for Lisa.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Melissa, you'll be moving on to our final round at the end of the show. Well done. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.

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