I think there is someone or something out there trying to send me a message. A few things have happened lately that seem, well, like there is a message coming or attached, but I don’t know what it is.
First, storms rolled through a few months ago, knocking out the power. Fortunately, our house has a generator attached, and it kept a few rooms running for a little while. My friends began texting about their power being out. I proudly texted a photo of my comfortable and well-lit kitchen that showed our generator working fine and then, boom, a lightning strike destroyed the generator.
Soon after, I was telling someone I think the whole idea of “long covid” is bogus. There’s no such thing as “long covid,” I said confidently. It’s a made-up sickness that people are using to stay out of work. Then I was hit with pains like I’ve never had before. They won’t go away. They’re in my shoulders and hips and are intense in the night and early morning. It’s been two months of constant pain. After determining it wasn’t arthritis and drawing 1000 gallons of blood, the Doctor told me I have post-viral myofascial syndrome. Otherwise known as long-covid. “The pain might last for as long as six months,” she said. “Get used to it.”
Then there are the clients who have contacted me asking for proposals. I ask thoughtful questions so I can better customize for them. They confirm they’re eager to get started soon. The call ends wonderfully, and I, foolishly, start counting my chickens. Then things get quiet. I follow up, and they assure me they’re looking at it and we’ll get started soon and over and over and round and round - ultimately, no decisions. I’d much rather a client say “No, thank you” than never reply or never make a decision. Uncertainty, in this case, is worse than bad news.
So, like I said, I feel like someone or something is trying to get a message through to me. But what? Tell me. I need the sky to crack and open and a booming voice to come from it or a burning bush in the back yard telling me what to do, or the phone to ring or the email to buzz or something. What’s the message?
After dealing with the pain from post-viral myofascial syndrome – I’m struggling to call it long covid - for two months, I’ll do anything to help with the pain. The most recent advice is that I fast for at least a day and three days would be better. During lengthy fasting, the body begins cleaning itself and eliminating anything unneeded, like a pesky virus causing pain in my hips and shoulders.
I’m writing this closing in on 48 hours of fasting. I’m a bit loopy, but if another 24 hours of fasting will help with the pain, I’ll do it. However, can’t be sure what my mental state will be 24 hours from now. I may be just loopy enough that…I finally hear a voice, and real or imaginary, I’ll do whatever it says.
I’m Cam Marston, and I’m just trying to Keep it Real.
