AILSA CHANG, HOST:
Can I interest you in a juicy piece of gossip? Or what about a juicy piece of roast chicken to go with it? Well, is there any better place to get both of these juicy, fabulous things than at a fabulous dinner party? The thing is, though, dinner parties are just not happening as much as they used to. I mean, I am part of this trend. I never host dinner parties at my house - something we are going to get into with Brittany Luse. She hosts the NPR podcast It's Been A Minute, and they recently covered the dwindling tradition of the dinner party. Brittany is here with us now to help us get into the spirit of gathering. Hi, Brittany.
BRITTANY LUSE, BYLINE: Hey, Ailsa.
CHANG: OK, so what is going on? Like, are people really hosting fewer dinner parties these days? Why would that be?
LUSE: Well, Ailsa, I hope not. But data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics tells an interesting story. For one, Americans are partying less overall. Only four...
CHANG: (Laughter).
LUSE: Listen. Listen, I mean...
CHANG: Why?
LUSE: Yes, I'm like, I feel - I'm like, am I putting the country on my back? I don't know.
CHANG: (Laughter).
LUSE: But only 4.1% of Americans hosted or even attended a social event on an average weekend or holiday in 2023.
CHANG: Wow.
LUSE: Four point one percent. And that is a 35% drop from 2004. And on top of that, research shared with Axios shows the dining room is becoming a thing of the past. Nearly 80% of designers working on new home communities said dining rooms became less of a priority in the last year, according to Axios. So it's surprising since home sizes have grown in the last 25 years.
CHANG: (Laughter).
LUSE: So I can't say for sure that dinner parties are on their way out, but the prognosis at the moment is not great.
CHANG: Well, let's talk about this 'cause I love dinner parties, actually. Can we talk about the benefits of gathering this way?
LUSE: Yes. Well, simply put, it's an opportunity to build community. I talked about that with professional chef and writer Garrett Schlichte. They're also a bit of a dinner party aficionado.
GARRETT SCHLICHTE: It's really where, like, you build family. I've eaten some less-than-great food at dinner parties before, and I have never been disappointed by that. And I think it's, like, great to, like, give and receive that kind of, like, love and, like, nurturance amongst friends, you know?
LUSE: And given how increasingly isolated our lives can be, doesn't that just sound nice, Ailsa?
CHANG: Yes, it totally does. So even if our culture and our physical spaces, like you mentioned, are just becoming less and less conducive to hosting dinner parties, we should just be throwing more dinner parties anyway?
LUSE: Well, yes and no. It's even deeper than that. According to architecture, design and business journalist Carly Olson, we might need to decenter ourselves.
CHANG: Huh?
CARLY OLSON: I think people feel like their homes are for them and for their families and less about the guests that come maybe a few times a year. And it wasn't like people used to have a dinner party every day 50 years ago.
LUSE: Yeah.
OLSON: But they clearly thought it was important enough to maintain a separate space that would accommodate those moments when they arrived. And now I think we're more focused on the day-to-day living experience. Like, you see bathrooms are becoming so lux (ph) because people want to, like, wind down at the end of a long day. And that's a private kind of domain. So I think people are focusing more on themselves and what they need.
CHANG: Yeah. I mean, I so relate to that. Like, I think it is a vulnerable thing to have people over and take in how you live day to day. So, Brittany, is there a way that I can kind of get over that and make the idea of dinner parties just less intimidating in my head?
LUSE: No, I mean, no, you're right to frame hosting as a skill. I think that makes so much sense. And Carly Olson actually did offer some great tips on how to maximize your space to make it more welcoming to guests. But that is only one part of the equation. Garrett Schlichte also pointed out how social media has us putting a lot of pressure on ourselves as hosts.
SCHLICHTE: My biggest gripe with, like, all of kind of modern entertaining and, like, what every cookbook these days is called is, like, it's simple and easy. Like, casual fun, you could do it with your eyes closed. And it's, like, nobody can. Because we are consuming everything in, like, little 30-second clips, we're just seeing this short bit of content, and then it's suddenly this gorgeous dinner party. And then when it takes you $250 and all day and then the cleanup the next day, it's like, who has time? It's, like, not...
LUSE: Yeah.
SCHLICHTE: ...The way the world actually works.
LUSE: Garrett Schlichte also said that maybe it's time, though, that we let go of the picture-perfect idea of a dinner party that we have in our heads. So, like, instead of cooking, order pizza or have a pot luck. Instead of overthinking your china patterns, just use paper plates.
CHANG: Yes.
LUSE: The point is just to get together. So keep it simple.
CHANG: OK, I love that. And I have to ask you, then, the holidays are approaching, Brittany.
LUSE: (Laughter).
CHANG: So are you going to suck it up and do your part now in bringing the dinner party back in the coming weeks?
LUSE: Well, my husband and I will celebrate Thanksgiving in a restaurant, so no.
(LAUGHTER)
CHANG: That's my style.
LUSE: But - exactly. But because of this conversation, just this past weekend, I actually opted to have a birthday party for the first time in eight years.
CHANG: Oh, my God.
LUSE: Yes.
CHANG: That's awesome.
LUSE: Thank you. It was so much fun. It felt really special. I will say, I admittedly had it in a bar.
CHANG: (Laughter).
LUSE: So no dinner parties yet, but they will be happening in the new year. Baby steps.
CHANG: Baby steps. Brittany, thank you so much for sharing all of this with us.
LUSE: You're so welcome, Ailsa.
CHANG: That was Brittany Luse. She is the host of NPR's It's Been A Minute, a show about what's going on in culture.
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