I aspire to be a fair minded, even-tempered person. Slow to anger, quick to smile. Furthermore, I look for, and expect people to do the right thing. At the same time, I don’t like to be taken advantage of. No one does. That makes me seethe, especially when I feel I’ve been more than fair, kind, and courteous to someone. Also, being taken advantage of generally leads to some sort of confrontation. And I have a long history of working hard to avoid confrontation. I’m a terrible confronter. I feel awful preparing for confrontation, I feel awful during it, and afterwards I wonder if I managed it well and if was necessary at all. Certain people sense this in me and continue taking advantage of me, escalating the issue. I don’t want to be a Karen. And I don’t want to be a push-over.
There is right now, today, a confrontation looming on my horizon. And I’m struggling with what to do and how to handle it. The roof on my office has a leak that spills onto my desk during heavy rains soaking my desk, putting water in my desk drawers, and soaking the carpet around my desk. My landlord has said he’s not found the right roofer to fix it. I’ve been very sympathetic to the supply chain issues and labor shortages that may have impacted the repair, but it’s been a year and I know today there are roofers available to fix it.
But this has evolved into something less about the leaky roof and more about the type of person I am and the type of person I want to be. It’s become a test of sorts. I don’t like confrontation, but I don’t like being treated unfairly. I love my little office space but get angry whenever I walk in and see the trash cans on my desk that I left there the night before in case it rains. I want to be treated fairly but don’t want to have to raise my voice to make that happen. So, what do I do?
I know many of you likely think I’m weak since I want to avoid the confrontation. And I must admit that that thought has crossed my mind, too. But I can be kind to the most unpleasant, rude, and arrogant people you’ve ever seen, and I know that’s not weakness. And you may think I’m afraid and, again, that thought has crossed my mind, but I’ve entered into situations where I had to step well out of my comfort zone and forced to be very vulnerable and I know that takes courage.
When I pray to be a fair-minded, even-tempered person, what I’m given are chances to practice that. When I pray to not being taken advantage of, what I’m given is chances to prevent it. Both prayers are being answered at the same time. So, what should I do? Well, you’ll have to stay tuned…
I’m Cam Marston and I’m just trying to keep it real.
Edited by Braylan Hurst
