For several years now I’ve thought about my last children leaving home and wondering how my wife and I would fare in our next life chapter of empty nesting. I thought I may like a quiet and neat home or not being waked late at night with kids coming in from a night out with friends and many, many fewer dirty dishes in the sink. When the older kids came home at the end of the school year in May, my wife and I celebrated a full house and reveled in having all four kid’s childhood bedrooms full again, but in the back of my mind, the countdown was on to late August when my wife and I would deliver our youngest to campus. They would be beginning their their first year of college with their older siblings already well on their way with their own college lives. We’d drop the twins and say goodbye, knowing that greeting us when we got home was this legendary, much anticipated, empty nest. It was a life-stage destination we’d heard a great deal about. Some friends thought their empty nest was heaven. Others thought it was hell. My wife and I would now get the chance to experience the phenomenon for ourselves and make up our own minds.
As I write this, it is not yet 7am on empty nest life, weekday morning number one. For more than twenty years, this time of day has meant I will soon begin hearing foot falls upstairs as children begin preparing for school or, and in this past summer, readying for summer jobs. The dog hears their noise and comes to the kitchen to greet them as they come down and give her her morning pets. Today, though, it’s silent upstairs. Last night, I shut down the house before bed, turning off all the lights, making sure all the doors were closed and locked. I didn’t bother to leave a light on in the kitchen, knowing no child would be coming in after a night out with friends looking for a quick snack before bed.
My wife and I will visit each of the children on campus this fall, meeting their new friends, trying to picture their lives there. For our older children, their rate of change accelerated when they went off to school, and observing their changes has been one of life’s great treats. The same will certainly happen to the twins. All four of them will be home for Thanksgiving. Right now, though, they’re exactly where they should be. They’re squarely in the chapters of life where they spread their wings, test the air and start to fly, and my wife and I are squarely in our own new chapter – this quiet and empty nest that they’ve left behind. It’s all just as it should be. Just as expected. I counted down the months, weeks, and days to experience this empty nest, wondering how it would feel and if I would like it, and as I sit here alone in the quiet of the kitchen that, just a week ago, would have been bustling right now, I’ve found myself wondering how much longer till Thanksgiving.
I’m Cam Marston, just trying to Keep It Real.
